I was 34 years old, on a bus in Peru, riding on the Pan American Highway to Chile. My friend Dreama was sleeping next to me, along with most of the other passengers. It was around 2 in the morning, the stars were so bright outside that even though I was looking at them through darkened glass, I felt connected.
I prayed. Right there, to those stars. The kind of prayer that comes from your marrow, the kind that feels like the essence of your soul is distilled into the plea.
I prayed for children, to have my own. I prayed for something to change in my life. And if nothing changes, I also prayed, then please let me die because I don’t want to go on living like this.
I had reached the end for myself. It sounds terribly melodramatic, but it was real and I knew it. Having wanted children for as long as I can remember (even becoming an elementary school teacher so that I’d be a better mother!), years and years passing and an internal clock ticking drew me steadily deeper into the grounds of depression. I was 34. There was no one special in my life. I didn’t know how it could happen, but I knew that if it didn’t, there was no part of me that wanted to continue in what felt to be a never-ending uphill lonely journey that had no point.
Within two months of that prayer, I had met Mikey and was pregnant with Micah.
Not everyone is where I was at that point. Not everyone wants children as badly as I always have. But many, many people do.
The children that I have now and cherish with every fiber of my being are like the children that all mothers cherish – with every fiber of their being. We love our children, so wholly, so fully – whether they be the children of our heart or the children of our flesh – they are ours.
They are taken away.
This is what cancer does. It reaches into the physical system of the people that we love the most. The people that make our lives full, blessed, rich, alive.
There are no guarantees. It can happen to anyone. At any time.
This child is precious to her parents. The love they felt the day she came into the world was matchless.
It can happen to anyone.
At any time.
There are no pass cards, no ‘go free’ plays. We don’t ever know who will be hurt.
And we don’t know why.
The way to change it is find the source. The ‘why’; find what is causing this, find out how to eradicate cancer once and for all.
Research, unfortunately, does not come for free. Programs are underfunded and scientists do not work without pay. We need to do what we can to help raise funds to help find cures and bettertreatments for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma
Give.Give today, give even if it seems too small – every dollar counts. Even if it’s one. Even if it’s 5, 10, 20 – 200 – 500. Whatever you can afford. And even if you think you can’t, give.
I will keep up my part – I will run the half marathon on May 6th. Rain or shine, nausea or not. I’m going to do it. I can do no less for the mothers that like, me, love their children completely. I can do no less for those children – like Oliver – that are fighting for their precious lives right now.
************** In a token of appreciation for your generosity, each donation will be entered to win in this giveaway. Amounts noted below
Alameda Bicycle had generously contributed ONE bicycle helmet of your choice to this Giveaway. They are so super-cool, you want ‘em all, don’t you!
Alameda Bicycle: They sell bikes, lead family rides in Alameda, participate actively in community events, offer bike clinics, road ride info, run the Bike Stations at BART (Berkeley, Ashby, Embarcadero and Fruitvale), and in general, make the world a greener, brighter and happier place.
“Like” them on Facebook, please. They are worth liking.
************** Flip Camera, generous donation from Anonymous
The Mino HD Flip Camera: Making video capture and share as easy as simply pushing a button. The easiest, most intuitive tool for parents ever. Worth over $120
“Sunrise” and “Sunset”; these are nifty little corner-brighteners. They match pretty much any type of background. Lots of texture, sparkle embedded in the paint. They can be hung and viewed from any direction, any angle, keeping their viewing fresh and fun. Worth about $60 (unless you are talking to my mother, in which case they are priceless)
San Francisco Bay Area Residents: One Complete Bicycle Tune-Up by My One True Darling Man. You may call him Mike though.
His tuning will include:
-Complete check-over of bike
-Front and rear hub bearing adjustment
-Three point wheel truing (radial, lateral, spoke tension balance)
-Front and rear brake adjustment
-Front and rear derailer adjustment
-Bottom bracket adjustment
-Headset bearing adjustment
If you need more or if your bike has special needs, you can talk about it between yourselves and he can provide a solution. Worth: up to $100
*************** To enter:
The Giveaway will end on April 6th at 11pm
$5-10: 1 entry
Each entry is added in $10 increments ($100 = 10 entries)
EVERY DONATION COUNTS – if you would like more entries, just donate some more!