15 Ways in Which I Thought I Would be a Better Mother

I thought I would be a better mother

  1.  I thought my house would always be spic and span – everything in its place, everything with a space
  2. I thought my kids would be clean. Oh, maybe dirty on occasion from their hard play outside but that would be about it. Clean, they’d be clean, with clean garments
  3. I thought my kids would only play with wood toys, spartan, using their wild, creative imaginations to make all that wood sparkle – no plastic!
  4. I thought I would be cheerful, loving, laughing, patient – ever ready for an educational song, dance or game!
  5. I thought I would feed my kids pure, healthy, organic food – let no dyed, chemical-laden, enriched or whatever food enter their tender bodies!
  6. I thought I would exclusively breastfeed each child for two years. Just like the World Health Organization says we should. AND I WOULD LOVE IT.
  7. I thought I would have natural childbirths – c-sections weren’t for me!
  8. Post-partum depression? Huh? Wasn’t that the thing that Brooke Shields had?
  9. I thought I’d put Mary Poppins to shame with my singing and dancing to get kids to do stuff (see #1)
  10. I thought I’d make crafts with my kids, inspire them with great art, hiding the glitter from your kids?  what kind of parent would do that????
  11. I thought I’d ban TV and cartoons – well, maybe an exception with an occasional episode of Sesame Street…
  12. I thought I would host and organize playdates, play groups; be the mom that was the hostess with the mostest. Or the moistest (handmade, healthful) cupcakes.
  13. I thought I’d be eager to read on demand all the time, any time – A Crack in the Track again, honey?! WHY, SURE!
  14. I thought I’d want to listen to every.single.tantalizing moment of  my child’s loooooooooooooooooooooooong rambling descriptions of robots, thrilling to the evidence of his intellect genius and proudly encouraging him on….and on…and on…
  15. I thought I’d tingle with joy at answering ALL the ‘WHY’ questions. “but why?’ – ‘but why?”- “why, Mommy?”, ‘why?”, “whyyyyyyyyyy?’, “whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?’

 

meriah nichols_As I look into the picture that I create with what my mothering actually is, rather than glory that I thought it would be, I can see the reflection of my own mother’s eyes looking back at me and realize a million slivers of truth in an instant.

I’ll bet she thought she’d always be loving and cheerful and kind and patient too.

With that realization comes compassion, forgiveness and understanding: for her, for my grandmothers, for the long line of women that I come from, each generation thinking they’d be better, thinking they would never hide the glitter.

And maybe, well maybe… maybe we are.

Maybe we all are.

Hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day – may your bathroom door stay shut, the legos off the floor and the kids not cry ALL DAY.

meriah nichols_-5

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