My friend Stefanie visited us on the Lost Coast and stunned me with her kid whispering skills. I was completely blown away by her ability to defuse fights between my kids, turn around tantrums and keep everything really fun.
(I wrote all about in this post from 2016). (Which is one of those posts that I enjoy re-reading, but I digress!)
So, Steffie. A-ha Parenting. I was IMPRESSED.
The website goes into just about everything – section on advice for different-aged kids, coaching, all kinds of posts and even a fabulous course (which Steffie said she took). It’s comprehensive – check it out here.
The idea behind it all is to use mindfulness and connection to raise happy kids. It’s about learning to understand where our kids actually ARE, the deeper reasons behind anger, and how to resolve it (check out her examples on limits and you’ll get what I’m talking about).
What I Like About A-Ha Parenting
Confession: nonviolent communication annoys me. It’s so focused on rules and saying things EXACTLY SO that it feels like it’s missing the point. It feels like the self-righteous assholes from Berkeley got together and wrote about how everyone else should talk.
I want peaceful and happy kids – most importantly, I really want kids that are able to feel their way around their own hearts and are able to rely on their own spiritual strength. I want them to enjoy their lives and have fun, and I think learning how to relate to others and deal with conflict is a critical piece in being able to enjoy their lives and have fun.
I like A-Ha Parenting because it teaches those skills.
It teaches those skills in concrete ways that make sense to me. It teaches ME how to be a more peaceful person, and by extension, a more peaceful parent. It teaches THEM how to express themselves, communicate, play.
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids WorkBook
Why it’s good:
- It gets into the science of the brain (like, there are actual reasons why this stuff works)
- It makes you analyze your own parenting, the way that YOU are so that you can better understand what’s going to work with your children
- It’s chock full of games that help with diffusing tension, getting kids to listen
- It’s a WORKBOOK. There are exercises and things that you need to complete that have a point (like a whole chapter on how to stop yelling at your child… the “Vow of Yellibacy”, working with your own triggers and self-regulation)
- It’s not patronizing or hippie-esque or with that annoying NVC tone that drives me bonkers (– I guess it’s one of my own triggers?! ha!)
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook blows me away, as does the whole A-Ha Parenting system.
It feels like it gets right to heart of relationships and the dynamics behind and between them. It offers tools that make a difference, that can really change how you parent and how you interact with your kids.
It’s not for the weak: it takes real courage to examine ourselves and make changes in how we do things. The “Vow of Yellibacy” isn’t easy. Being peaceful isn’t always easy either. But it deeply resonates with me, and having seen the results with my friend Steffie and what Peaceful Parenting looks like in action with someone who is good at it, I AM IN THIS.
I want to be a kid whisperer, too.