When I finally went to the doctor with my second bout of the flu (only by that time it was a bronchial infection that was really caused by the stress of finding a place that would rent to me – but that is another post), I was weighed. As in, literally weighed: asked to step on a scale to check my body poundage.
I didn’t even care how much I was, because I was so sick, but still propped my eye up to take a look. And huh. I was surprised. All that mac salad and kahlua pork, kalbi ribs and spam musubi had left me exactly the same as I was when I left California.
I guess being sick and stressed knocked some of the mac salad off, but I was still pretty surprised.
When things finally settled some more (– meaning, I found someone who would rent to me, and we were able to move and unpack some boxes and feel less like homeless migrants), I opened up the computer to check out a system or something to help me become stronger.
I had three goals:
- weight loss
- physical strength
- spiritual strength
All three of those goals were equal.
I didn’t want to lose weight more than I wanted to be stronger; nor did I want to lose weight or become physically stronger without being spiritually stronger.
For my first goal – losing weight – I toyed with keto but I realized that wouldn’t work. We eat too much fruit. So then I thought of paleo and all the rules of all the various diets were just too much. I really just want to clean up my eating habits and portions.
With that in mind, it’s back to the 21 Day Fix and BeachBody. Now: I’m not a BeachBody coach. I’m not going back to that, either – I’m only placing Amazon links there, not BeachBody sign-ups and I will only recommend buying from Amazon (or e-Bay); not from BeachBody directly because their lock-in systems suck.
Their product is excellent though, so I’m just going to focus on that.
Getting physically stronger is something I thought I could do with the 21 Day Fix dvd’s, which cover just about every muscle group.
Added to that, I’d tune into Gaia ($9.99/all-you-can-yoga), and of course swim and hike around as I can. But the main goal is to be moving in conscious patterns for half an hour, EVERY DAY.
This is probably the hardest.
I mean, I’ve got a lot going on in my heart.
I’m fucking FURIOUS on some levels, despairing in others.
I’m so focused on my kids right now and creating a life that it’s like I have blinders on – no, it’s not “like” – it IS – I DO HAVE BLINDERS ON.
And I need those fuckers on because I’d lose my head if I didn’t.
I can’t let my pain and rage in – it’s all too overwhelming – but I need a way to process, let the steam go, grieve.
I still have my morning routine. It’s the same thing: candle (s), meditation, reading, writing.
I’m branching out now and exploring some of Marianne Williamson’s work. She’s got some stuff that seems really good – and my Guru (Oprah!!) digs her, so, hey! She’s gotta be good.
I’m also going to work hard on visualizing, planning. Prayer. Gratitude. Appreciation (all of those are in my morning ritual; I’m just going to focus on them longer than I have been).
I want to say that I need help with accountability, but I don’t really think that’s it. It’s more like I just want buddies to hang out with in this, and talk about stuff, and I want inspiration from YOU and what you are doing, too.
I’ve got a closed Facebook group going with some friends, and you are welcome to come on over and talk there. I’m posting photos of my 21 Day Fix process there – food, exercise, etc. Also book and “course in miracles” progress.
I’m also over on Instagram – linked here – that’s cool too.
If you don’t want to join anything but feel like tuning in to the whole thing, I’ll be posting again once/weekly on progress.
xo big love your way.